


Crazy Men

by Orithain, Rina9294



Series: Fourth Pass [27]
Category: Dragonriders of Pern - Anne McCaffrey
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 07:24:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9374240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orithain/pseuds/Orithain, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rina9294/pseuds/Rina9294
Summary: Two men who loved the same man, though in different ways—or were they? Anger and jealousy can make a man do strange things.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted October 2002.

The holdfolk at Icefall were avoiding one of the rooms, where as so often happened, their lord holder and Journeyman Smithcrafter Shaemus were once again snarling at each other. No one was quite sure what had set them off this time, but no one wanted to get close enough to find out, since both men had absolutely vicious tempers when they’d been arguing.

Lord Holder Keirron glared at the smaller man, the man who’d been married to his best friend Laurie, the man who seemed to have been put on Pern to make him miserable, and his blue-grey eyes darkened to the color of stormy skies. He opened his mouth to reply in kind to the last insult Shaemus had hurled at him, when the infuriating man interrupted him to add yet another.

“And a spoiled whiny total ass to boot!”

Nearly ready to tear his dark hair out from frustration, Keir snarled, “You’re just jealous because I had advantages you never could.”

Shaemus snorted. “If ending up like what you is what those advantages get me, I’ll take my life the way it was.”

The fuming lord holder clenched his fists, sputtering impotently. “It got me a good friend. Laurien never once walked away from me. But you can’t say the same, can you?” he sneered, knowing how much it hurt the smith that he and Laurie had once separated.

“How could he? You were always dragging at his ankles, pulling him down.” Shaemus’ lips thinned and his eyes narrowed at the memory of that time. “Why do you think I walked away? I had to do something to wake him up before he drowned.”

“You walked away because you couldn’t stand it that you couldn’t keep him. That I meant more to him than you did. He’d never have stayed with you.” Keirron looked down his nose at the irritating little man.

“In your dreams, Little Lord. You just wish that was the case, that he would have come to you like that. Who was it he wanted at the end? Not you, it was never you,” the smith snarled, taking a step toward the larger man.

Keir laughed angrily. “I was the one he wouldn’t let near him because he was trying to protect me from the Plague. He wanted me to live. You could never understand loving someone like we did!”

Shaemus grabbed Keir’s shirt in both hands and slammed the younger man up against the wall. “Like a friend, Little Lord, that’s all he ever felt for you. Don’t try to fool yourself it was anything more.” He let go of the other man, wiping his hands on his pants as if disgusted. “Besides, I thought you only loved _Tallia_ ,” he sneered.

“Tallia was my lover, but Laurien was my best friend. But I guess you can’t understand that kind of love. Lust, that’s all someone like you could understand.” Keirron concentrated on smoothing his shirt, trying to show how unimportant Shaemus was.

Pain darkened Shaemus’ eyes for a moment, then they cleared. “A lot you know about it. Lust is a part of love, a part you must not have been too good at, considering what I’ve heard.”

Keir turned on him angrily, grabbing his collar and shoving him against the wall. “What would you know about it? You don’t know anything about me!”

Shaemus planted a fist in the lord holder’s stomach, earning himself some breathing room. “I know a sharding lot more about you than you could ever imagine! Who do you think Laurie bounced ideas off of when he was trying to come up with ways to help you? Who do you think cheered him up when he was exhausted from your constant whining and neediness? Who do you think _he_ leaned on when your weight became too much? Sharding idiot! So selfish that you never bothered asking how he felt about anything!” Furious and hurting at the reminder of the loss of his mate, Shaemus rammed his fists into Keir’s stomach again and again.

The stunned lord holder staggered back, gasping for air, then doubled over from the pain of the blows, falling to his knees. “Not true!” he gasped. “We were... friends!” He glared up at the blond smith with eyes filled with hatred. “You don’t know anything!”

Shaemus fisted a hand in Keir’s hair, tilting his head back farther. “Friends give as well as take. They care more about what their friend wants than what they do. They’re happy when their friends are happy, not condemning and jealous, that’s what friends are. _You_ , are a leech, Little Lord. Take, take, take. Maybe you need to be taken so you know how it feels.”

Keirron swung wildly, ignoring the strange fluttering in his belly that couldn’t possibly be fear, trying to pull free. “Get your hands off me! Get out! Leave me alone!!”

Evading most of Keir’s blows with ease, Shaemus ignored the few that did hit him. “What? Can’t handle it? Someone needs to teach you a lesson about life, and I’ve decided it’s going to be me. You’ve got to grow up sometime and it starts now.” He yanked Keir up to his knees and rubbed his leg against the length of the larger man’s body, keeping a firm hold on his hair and shirt.

Squirming almost desperately, Keirron tried to get away, but he couldn’t get the leverage from that position. “Let go of me!” He clawed at Shaemus’ hands, refusing to acknowledge the faint stirring of his body at being overpowered like this by this man.

“No.” He felt the slight reaction and grinned harshly. “Anyone ever tell you that before, Little Lord?” He slid his hand inside Keir’s shirt and tweaked his nipple, careful to maintain his pressure on the lord’s neck, keeping him off balance.

Keirron gasped and his eyes widened with shock at the incredible pleasure of that single touch. “No!!!” he howled, fighting harder to get away, horrified by how hard he was, how aroused he’d become by nothing more than Shaemus seizing control and touching his nipple.

Shaemus ground out, voice growing raspy as he realized that he wanted the other man, “No, no one’s ever told you that before.” He pulled Keir’s shirt open and off, rubbing harder at his groin, wanting a response.

Whimpering, confused, Keir was unable to prevent himself from pushing against that tormenting leg pressed against his aching cock. “Why... why are you doing this to me?” he moaned, nearly shaking with arousal, wanting this as much as he hated it.

“To prove a point, Little Lord.” The smith could feel his own cock throb as Keir arched against his leg. “And because I want to.” He moved behind Keir, pushing him to his hands and knees, and rubbed his erection against the lord holder’s ass. He held Keir down, his fingers leaving red marks on the larger man’s back as they trailed downward.

Keirron shuddered, his breathing sounding like faint sobs, but he didn’t try to get away, instead remaining motionless, waiting for whatever Shaemus would do next. “You don’t want to, don’t want _me_. I don’t want you!” Abruptly he shifted, moving forward slightly, knowing that this was his last chance to get away.

Shaemus growled, grabbing Keir by the waist of his pants, pulling him back. He was distantly shocked by his own behavior but too far gone to care. “You don’t have any idea what I want.” His hands moved to Keir’s hips as he ground against his ass again.

Moaning, Keirron submitted to the other man, his body softening and yielding to the smith’s dominance. “Hard not to know.” He sounded almost amused for an instant before the sensations in his body distracted him again. “You... I...” He groaned and pushed back against the cock pressed to his ass.

“I’m going to fuck you now,” Shaemus stated bluntly, eyes narrowing at the sound of Keir’s voice. “And all I want to hear from you is moaning or nothing.” He worked a hand around to the front of Keir’s pants and opened them, brushing against his straining cock while yanking them down.

Keir moaned desperately, his whole body twitching when he felt Shaemus’ hand on his cock and one less layer of fabric between the smith’s rock hard erection and his ass. Without even realizing it, he lowered his head and spread his legs slightly, offering himself submissively to the other man.

Shaemus left one hand on Keir’s hip as he pulled his own pants open, his erection slapping at his stomach as he freed himself. “Just like that,” he growled as he wet his fingers with saliva and pressed one inside the younger man, twisting and rotating it once the lord holder relaxed the smallest bit.

Keirron whined, shocked by how good it felt despite the burning as he was penetrated, and he couldn’t stop himself from pushing backward, trying to get more of the pressure he wanted, no, needed.

The blond’s eyes widened slightly at the other man’s response. He pulled his hand back, slicked two fingers and replaced them, twisting and scissoring them, then deliberately brushed one over Keir’s prostate.

The stunned lord holder yelped and shoved back, forcing Shaemus’ fingers as deep as they could go, whimpering and squirming, not sure what he wanted but knowing that Shaemus could give it to him.

Pushed past his breaking point, Shaemus spit into his other palm and coated his cock, then pulled his fingers from the tightness of Keir’s body, giving a hard-edged smile as he groaned. Placing the head of his cock at the tight ring of muscle, he pushed inside, forced to stop when the incredible tightness threatened to make him come right then.

Keir gasped at the pain, his body first tightening, then slowly relaxing when Shaemus stilled, and suddenly it felt good. He whimpered again, wanting more, needing more. “Please...”

“Please?” the smith whispered hoarsely. “My, my, the Little Lord does have manners after all.” He pushed the rest of the way in, unable to keep the moan quiet behind his clenched teeth as he was surrounded by tight, hot flesh for the first time in too long. “Show you now...” He started rocking his hips back and forth until he was slamming into the larger man, both hands braced on his hips.

Keirron barely heard a word the other man said as he concentrated utterly on the sensation of that thick shaft filling him, fucking him. He pushed back, meeting every thrust hungrily, whining desperately, his body fighting to open still more to its possessor.

Shaemus closed his eyes, getting lost in the rhythm, forgetting for the moment just who he was with, but then Keir’s moans dragged him back to the present, and his expression hardened. “You want to come, better take care of yourself,” he rasped harshly as he bucked hard into the lord holder.

Whimpering, Keir slowly raised a hand to his cock, only vaguely wondering why he was so disappointed when he should be glad Shaemus wasn’t touching him more. He pumped it only a few times before his hand fell away and his back arched, once again concentrating on the cock driving into him.

Shaemus felt Keir’s body tighten beneath him, then saw the other man’s hand fall away from his cock and snarled, “Damnit!” He circled Keir’s shaft with one hand and pumped his cock ruthlessly, wanting the other man to know he’d come from this - or telling himself that anyway.

Keirron wailed, thrashing back and forth between the hand on his cock and the cock in his ass, then stiffened, tiny whimpers escaping between his clenched teeth as he came. As the spasms wracked him, he went limp beneath the other man, though his ass continued to grip the shaft impaling him.

Back bowing as he felt Keir come, Shaemus bit through his lip to keep from howling as his balls tightened, then he drove deep a final time, filling the other man with his seed. He leaned in, resting his head on Keir’s back for a second, panting heavily before he realized just who he was with and straightened, pulling out of the lord holder’s body as he did so. “Don’t want it, eh?”

Keir flinched from those words, sitting down and pulling his legs up in front of him, knees under his chin and arms wrapped tightly around his legs. He could feel the other man’s seed seeping out of him, and just thinking about it made him want to feel that again. A tiny whimper escaped him. “Go away. Please!” he begged desperately, not caring how pathetic he sounded.

Shaemus did up his pants, seeing a bit of blood on his cock, and ruthlessly smashed the guilt that started to grow. “Don’t have to ask me twice. I’m gone,” he sneered as he looked at the lord holder’s huddled form, then strode from the room, not allowing himself to look back.

Keirron remained huddled on the floor for some time after Shaemus left, then slowly arranged his clothing and returned to his chambers, afraid someone would see him. His steps lagged as he walked through the empty corridors, and he considered calling one of the women to his bed to wipe the encounter from his mind. He worried that a woman would take one look at him, though, and know exactly what he’d been doing.

With that in mind, he returned to his sleeping chamber alone, and he tossed and turned for candlemarks before falling asleep. Even his sleep was troubled as his mind kept returning to those moments in his office. He woke, crying out Shaemus’ name, and he groaned and buried his face in his pillow when he realized he’d come in his sleep, thinking of the other man. His body throbbed, feeling empty, and he leaped out of bed with a curse.

After a long, hot bath where he nearly scrubbed his skin off, Keirron stormed out of his rooms toward his office, hoping against hope that he wouldn’t encounter Shaemus and trying not to think of what had happened the last time he’d been there. He needed a while without seeing him... a lifetime ought to just about do it.

~*~*~

Expression set and resolute, Shaemus walked the corridors of the hold, heading for the armscrafters’ area. He knew what he had to do. Had spent the rest of the night flogging himself for what had occurred earlier.

He’d raped the lord holder. There, he’d said it. There was no doubt in the smith’s mind that Keirron had been unwilling, no matter the outcome of their coupling, and for the life of him, Shaemus couldn’t fathom what had come over him. He disliked the other man, thought of him as a whiny, spoiled, brat. So how then did he end up fucking the man almost through the floor like that?

Shaemus knew the punishment for rape. Sentenced to the mines and probably castrated as well, especially considering who the victim of his crime was. He was prepared to face it, though, his one consolation being that Laurie would never know about this. He’d promised his husband that he’d take care of Keirron - and he’d failed.

Pulika crooned and rubbed his head against Shaemus’ cheek, and he lifted a hand to stroke the flit’s head. Poor thing, he didn’t understand what was going on at all. “That makes two of us,” the smith sighed, turning a corner and wincing when he saw Lord Keirron coming in the other direction. Well, best to face up to it now.

Keeping the width of the hallway between them so as not to crowd the larger man, Shaemus offered him a bow. “I’m going to the armscrafters now, m’lord. I’m sure they’ll want to speak to you as well, but don’t worry. I’m going to confess it all.”

Keirron stopped in his tracks, gaping at the older man. His mouth opened and closed silently several times before sound exploded out of him. “WHAT?!? Are you insane?” he roared. Forgetting how desperately he did not want to touch the other man, he stormed across the hall and grabbed him by the arms. “What possible reason could you have for going to the armscrafters that would involve me? You’d better not mean what I think you mean, because if you do, you should be going to the mindhealers!”

By this time Keir was screaming in Shaemus’ face, oblivious to the shocked stares he was garnering from the holdfolk, who scurried away quickly. No one wanted to be around when their lord holder lost his temper so spectacularly.

Shaemus tried to wrench his arm out of Keir’s grip, grimacing as the lord holder’s fingers only tightened more. “What do you mean, what am I talking about? Do you want me to remind you of what happened last night? I know what I did, Lord Keirron, and I’m prepared to deal with the consequences. What I don’t understand is the attitude you’re taking to it. I would have thought you would be glad that I’ll be gone, one way or another.”

Keirron’s eyes narrowed, and his fingers bit into the other man’s arms, hard enough to bruise. “I’m perfectly well aware of what happened last night, though I don’t have the slightest idea why. And I have no clue why you want to bring the armscrafters into it. Bad enough that we rutted like a pair of animals, no one else needs to know it.”

Shaemus shook his head and looked toward the skies before grasping Keir’s fingers with his and levering them up and off his arm. “You said no, I ignored you. By any definition, that’s rape, even one as simplistic as it would have to be for you to understand it.”

“ _Rape_?!” Keirron squawked, only lowering his voice when he noticed the odd looks he was garnering from some nearby holdworkers. Face as red as his favorite shirt, he dragged the protesting smith into the nearest room, sending the drudges scattering with a single foul look.

He slammed the door shut and bolted it, turning to glare at the blond. “Did Thread eat your brains? Rape? Don’t be ridiculous!” He paced closer, towering over the smaller man, trying to intimidate him with his size and anger.

“No need when you do it so well,” Shaemus growled back, glaring up at the lord holder, not giving an inch. “What would you call it then, Little Lord? A nice consensual fuck? Hardly!”

Fuming, Keirron grabbed the other man by his upper arms and raised him up to eye level, demonstrating his superior strength. “Do you really think you could make me do something I don’t want to?” He snorted.

“Sure, it wasn’t something I’d ever considered, but _you_ forcing _me_? That’s the most insane thing I’ve ever heard.” He scowled into the smith’s face, a bare hand’s breadth away.

“No, the most insane thing you’ve ever heard was me wanting to turn myself in for rape. Make up your mind, Keirron - what little one you have.” Slamming his head forward, he bashed their foreheads together, forcing Keir to drop him.

Blinking, woozy from the blow, Shaemus kept his balance and scowled at the taller man. “You don’t think I made you do it? Or could again?”

Growling, his fists clenching at his sides, Keirron forced himself not to take a swing at the bane of his existence. “You could _never_ make me do anything,” he snarled, turning toward the door. He had to get out of there before he ended up having to turn _himself_ in to the armscrafters for murder!

Cursing under his breath, his temper snapping, Shaemus grabbed Keirron’s arm, yanking him back at the same time he hooked an ankle around the younger man’s leg. A shift of balance and both of them toppled to the ground, with Shaemus straddling Keir’s waist, his weight pressed down on the lord holder’s shoulders, keeping him face first on the carpeting.

“I can’t? You know, I have every inclination to show you just how wrong you are, Little Lord. What do you think about that?”

A steady stream of curses and bucking showed exactly what Keirron thought of the blond’s actions. “Get off me, you damn bastard, so I can kill you!” he roared, his voice rather muffled by the carpet and his breathlessness. Not for every mark on Pern would he have admitted that he was getting hard.

“Do that then it’ll be you going to the mines,” Shaemus laughed harshly. “See, it would have been easier to let me confess. Now...”

Keeping his weight on Keir, Shaemus managed to slide back, wedging a knee between the lord holder’s thighs and spreading them wider. He felt Keir push back into his leg for a moment and laughed again. “You want it again, don’t you?”

“Fuck you!” Keirron snarled, fighting not to writhe like the slut he decidedly wasn’t, only a small twitch of his ass betraying him. “As if I would want you!” But the drawn out, whimpered moan that escaped him when Shaemus moved against him gave lie to his words, and now he was fighting to spread his legs rather than to get away.

Letting out a bark of laughter, Shaemus let up the pressure on Keir’s shoulders, smirking when the other man didn’t push up against his hand, only back, rubbing his ass against the smith’s groin. “Don’t want me, but you want to get fucked, Little Lord. Let’s just see how bad...” Pulling Keir’s hips up and farther back, Shaemus rocked against the lord holder, rubbing his cock against Keir’s ass, only the fabric of their pants separating them. Reaching beneath Keir, he found the rock-hard bulge of the other man’s erection and cupped it. “Yeah, you want to get fucked all right.”

Keir only groaned, wanting to argue but afraid to say a word in case Shaemus stopped what he was doing. Jays, he remembered every instant of the night before, and he desperately wanted more, wanted to feel the smith filling him again, hurting and pleasuring him... He moaned again, pushing back hard to feel the blond’s hard cock against his ass. The fabric between them frustrated him, and he snarled. “So fuck me then!”

Lips twisting up in a grin that was evil personified, Shaemus shook his head. “No. We’ll just keep going like this, and then you can walk back to your rooms in your wet, sticky clothes and think about what a fucking slut you are.” He shifted back, them rocked harder against Keir’s body, gripping the other man’s cock harder and hearing him groan - and biting back his own at the same time.

Eyes widening in shock, that threat spurred the hungry lord holder into a violent twist that freed him from the other man’s grip, and he flipped them over so that he was straddling the blond. He briefly considered turning around to face Shaemus and take him now that he had the upper hand, but he wanted to be filled too much.

He somehow managed to unfasten his pants and shove them down over his hips while still restraining the furiously struggling smith, then did the same for Shaemus. Eagerly he rose up and pressed himself down onto Shaemus’ cock, a hissed gasp of pain his only reaction to the swift entry.

“Little bastard!” Shaemus hissed, struggling to get them back into their previous positions but unable to budge Keir’s heavier weight. Then the lord holder started moving, and the tight heat around his cock made Shaemus not care about anything else. “Fucking... slut...” he rasped, his hands digging into Keir’s hips to pull him harder down onto his cock.

To his own surprise, the insult only made Keirron hotter, and he moved with Shaemus to slam himself up and down on the thick shaft filling him. “Oh jays!” he half wailed, trying to move harder and faster. It felt so good, but he wanted more. Whining faintly, he fought to push down more, to take Shaemus deeper. He shifted his balance forward, hands bracing on the floor in front of him between Shaemus’ legs, a soft moan escaping him as the new position allowed Shaemus to sink further into him.

Meeting Keir’s moan with an animalistic one of his own, Shaemus bucked upward, wanting to pound harder, faster into the other man, but hindered by their positioning. Why did it have to be Keirron? Why did it have to feel so flaming good? Just a body, just a way to get off, that was all it was, that was all the lord holder was good for. Promising himself these things, Shaemus sat up enough to work his hand around Keir, grabbing and jerking the other man’s cock, working to bring them both off and end this.

“Shells!” Keirron cried out and shoved forward into Shaemus’ fist, then back onto his cock, moving faster and faster as he tried to gain both sensations simultaneously, moaning and whimpering. “Oh jays, please, more,” he gasped, beyond caring about pride or anything except the overwhelming sensations filling him.

Tightening his fingers around the thick flesh sliding through them, Shaemus lost himself in the primal rhythm, the wet slap of flesh coming together and the soft grunts each of them made when a particularly strong bolt of pleasure shot through them. He was getting close, could feel his balls drawing up closer to his body, and groaned, wanting it to end, but also to keep going on. “Come, damn you,” he gasped, twisting his hips to score a hit on Keir’s prostate. That was all it would take, and he’d go over too.

Keir’s eyes widened, and he actually yowled at the starburst of ecstasy that ran through him, his body convulsing so hard he almost pulled himself off Shaemus as he came. He slammed himself down onto the other man, seemingly trying to force him all the way through his body, tiny whines of need and pleasure falling in a constant stream from his lips. He felt like he was turning inside out with the force of his climax, and he loved every instant of it.

“Jays!” Shaemus gave a sharp gasp as Keir went wild on him, the lord holder’s violent climax driving him into his own. Back bowing off the floor, Shaemus’ fingers dug into Keirron’s hips, leaving red welts that would probably bruise before nightfall. He didn’t care, though; all he knew was the tight channel around his cock, the one that spasmed and stroked him even as he spewed his seed deep within the other man.

It felt so good, and that was just simply... “Insane,” he rasped, opening his eyes to look up at Keir. “Must be insane.”

Keirron remained motionless, still impaled on Shaemus’ cock. What had he been thinking of to do this with this man of all people... and how could he make him do it again? No! If Shaemus could make him feel good, someone else, _anyone_ else, could make him feel better.

He pulled off of the smith, whimpering faintly as they separated, and hastily dressed himself, needing to get away before he met the other man’s eyes or he said anything.

Slowly getting to his feet, wincing as he’d acquired a few bruises himself during their tryst, Shaemus drew himself up as he refastened his pants. “No point in going to the armscrafters this time, is there?” he asked cynically. “Have a lovely evening, m’lord.”

Trying to quell his own ruffled emotions, Shaemus pushed past Keirron and out into the hall, ignoring the other man as he intended to do from now on.

Wincing slightly, Keirron couldn’t deny the truth of Shaemus’ words, and he didn’t try. He left the room as well, once again heading for his office and intent upon avoiding the smith from now on.

~*~*~

Determined to prove to himself that Shaemus was nothing special and also wanting to find that incredible ecstasy again, Keirron spent the next several sevendays going from bed to bed as he tried to find the right lover. Unfortunately, pleasant as the experiences were, none of them equaled what he’d felt with Shaemus, which only made him redouble his efforts.

He tried to ignore the whispers and laughter behind his back, growing progressively more unhappy with his life. The night of the anniversary of Laurie’s birthingday, he went out to what had been his friend’s favorite spot, desperately needing to be alone and to talk his problem over with Laurie the way he used to.

~*~*~

With a sigh, Shaemus set aside his tools, unable to concentrate on his latest project. The design was a simple one; he just couldn’t put his mind to it, not today. Sliding off the stool, he pushed back from his workbench, straightening up more by habit than by actual thought.

He needed a good, stiff drink; maybe that would dull the memories enough to get through the day. Perhaps it would dull other memories as well, ones that were definitely less welcome than his thoughts of his husband.

Mumbling a half-hearted farewell to the other smiths, he set out for his rooms, intent on grabbing a bottle and escaping the hold. There was an outcropping of rock that Laurie had always loved sitting under to watch the sun go down; he’d toast his deceased lover there, then drag himself to bed, hopefully to avoid dreaming.

Shaemus managed the first part of the plan easily enough, but when he got to the sheltered boulder, his whole body tightened in anger at the sight of someone else reclining against the rock.

“What are _you_ doing here?” he snarled, glaring at Keirron as if by wishing alone he could make the lord holder vanish.

“Probably the same thing you are,” Keir snapped, glaring right back. “Remembering Laurie. We used to come here almost every night, until _you_ came. Then it was only once in a while.” He sighed, seeming almost to forget Shaemus’ presence. “It almost feels like he’s here now. I almost think that if I reach out, I can touch him and hear him laugh over something silly like he used to.”

“Jays.” Shaemus rolled his eyes upward, then leaned against the side of the rock, breaking open the seal on the bottle and tilting it up to his lips. “The last thing I need tonight is to hear you whine about how I took him away from you, how I deprived you of his company. Can you...” He sighed, leaning his head back against the boulder and swallowing hard as his throat tightened. “Can you just let it lie tonight?”

Keirron opened his mouth to respond with his usual unfriendliness, but remembering where they were and why, he bit it back. “Fine.” He had no interest in talking to the smith anyway. He folded his arms, leaned back and tried to ignore the man, despite feeling the warmth of his body radiating against his side.

Why he didn’t just turn and leave, Shaemus didn’t know. He certainly didn’t want to be with Keirron, but conversely, he also needed to be here, to try to feel closer to Laurie for a time. Letting his knees buckle, he slid down the rock face until he was sitting on the ground, his elbows on his knees. Closing his eyes, he could almost pretend the presence next to him was one he wanted, the soft sounds of breathing, that of Laurien - almost.

Taking another swig of the strong liquor, he ran a finger over the bracelet Laurie had given him the day they reconciled - a day that never would have had to happen if not for the man sitting next to him. Clenching his jaw, Shaemus took a deep breath, trying to keep the anger at bay. He didn’t want to think about the little lord tonight, only Laurie.

“Gonna share that?” Keir finally asked, nodding at the bottle Shaemus held. Why couldn’t he just ignore the man? Ever since that night when they’d... that night, he seemed inordinately aware of the smith. He’d slept with dozens of women and men in the hold, mostly men lately, but it had never been the same. He didn’t know what to do, and getting drunk seemed like a pretty good idea.

Shaemus took another drink, then handed the bottle over, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he did so. The action surprised him; normally he’d tell Keirron to go find his own, but, having asked for peace tonight, he couldn’t break it.

He glanced over, giving himself a shake when the sight of the younger man’s mouth wrapped around the bottle was replaced by an image of those lips wrapped around his cock. Almost choking, he sat up straight, putting some distance between himself and the other man. This was not what he wanted; those two times had been a mistake, a sick, stupid mistake.

Keir swallowed, then found himself staring down into the bottle. He handed it back with a sigh. “It’s not going to help. I drink and drink, and it never makes me forget that he’s gone. Nothing does, except... Nothing does.” He stared straight ahead, telling himself that he wasn’t getting aroused by Shaemus’ mere presence beside him. He shifted, his pants now binding uncomfortably.

“Don’t drink to forget, drink to remember.” Shaemus uttered those cryptic words, punctuating them with another drink. He wanted to rail at Keir, to ask what he was whining about, he’d had Laurie for more Turns than he had, but then again, there was a difference. “Nothing does except what?” he asked, cutting his eyes toward the larger man, then looking ahead again.

“Nothing,” Keirron repeated, but just hearing the question had been enough to make him think of the answer. He shifted again, his cock hardening as he remembered fucking and being fucked, sucking dozens of cocks, only those brief moments of climax making him forget his lost loved ones. Except those times with Shaemus.

From the moment Shaemus had touched him, he’d been aware of nothing and no one except the other man. He still woke up almost every night from dreams of those encounters or others that existed only in his imagination.

“Nothing,” he said yet again, his voice husky with arousal.

Eyes narrowing in consideration at the sound of Keirron’s voice, Shaemus turned his head slowly to study the lord holder. That damn voice...

“That why you’ve taken to sleeping with half the hold?” he asked, putting a cruel edge on his words to cover his own nascent arousal. Damnit, he did not want Keirron; it was just the idea of putting him in his place, of wiping that smug expression off his face, that made him want to drag the other man to his knees and use him like he had before.

Keirron’s eyes shut in negation, and he flinched away, refusing to look at or reply to Shaemus. He didn’t even want to think about why he was harder than ever. He fumbled for the bottle again, wanting more, desperate for a reason not to look at the other man.

The way Keir’s fingers brushed over his arm and leg as he tried to grab the bottle made Shaemus’ body tighten another notch, and he spoke without thinking. “What? Can do it, just can’t talk about it? From what I’ve heard, your partners aren’t quite so close-mouthed.”

Keirron turned with a snarl. “Don’t think it’s any of your business who I sleep with! What do you care? Yes, I’ve had a few lovers. So what?” He grabbed the bottle and tossed back a healthy slug.

“Not my business if you look like a fool in front of your whole hold,” Shaemus shrugged, letting Keir read whatever he wanted into the comment.

As usual when dealing with the smith, Keirron was fuming. “And just why would I look like a fool? Please, share your great wisdom with me,” he sneered.

“Because, Little Lord,” the older man snapped back, “you running around the hold like a canine in heat _is_ funny - and pathetic. From celibate to slut in a sevenday, that’s a pretty damn good trick.”

“I am not a slut!” Keir dropped the bottle and took a swing at his tormentor, wanting to shut him up.

Shouting when he saw his liquor seeping out onto the ground, Shaemus failed to duck the blow that Keirron aimed at him, not even noticing it until it plowed into his face, splitting his lips open. Cursing, he brought his hand to his mouth, looking at his bloodstained palm and feeling his already frayed control slip another notch.

“So you say, but you are pathetic, that’s for damn certain.”

“Not so pathetic that you didn’t want me. So much for your high and mighty attitude. Oh, why do I bother?” Keir started to stand up, intending to get away from the irritating man.

In a quick move, Shaemus was on his feet, catching Keir’s arm and spinning him around and back to his knees. “Yeah, well, I guess Laurie’s attitude must have worn off on me some. As for why you bother...” His blue eyes glinted with malign glee as he noted the definite tenting of the lord holder’s pants.

“You want it again, don’t you? Right here, right now.”

“No!” Keir snapped defiantly, but he didn’t move, and he licked his lips hungrily as he stared at Shaemus’ groin. He couldn’t help remembering how good it had been. He swayed a little closer involuntarily, almost whimpering with his extreme arousal.

“No?” An arched eyebrow accompanied the question as Shaemus’ gaze followed the track of Keir’s tongue around his mouth. “Well then, I should leave you to your own devices, Little Lord. Do have a pleasant evening.”

Seething, his vision tinged red with a combination of anger and arousal, Shaemus spun on his heel, preparing to leave.

“No!” Unable to hold himself back, Keir caught hold of Shaemus, holding his legs to prevent him from leaving. He leaned forward, mouthing the rising erection hungrily. He squirmed, shifting until he could press his own aching cock against the smith’s leg and rub.

Lips curling, Shaemus looked down at the larger man. “Slut,” he rasped, trying not to pay attention to the way his hands were winding through Keir’s hair and his hips were arching against the heat of the lord holder’s mouth.

“You want it, show me how much.” Reaching down, he undid his pants, freeing his erection and rubbing it against the side of Keirron’s face, smiling thinly when Keir turned his face to try and capture Shaemus’ cock with his lips. “Do a good job and then we’ll see what you get.”

Whimpering softly but unable to deny Shaemus’ insults or demands, Keir caught the rigid shaft in his mouth and suckled hungrily. His fingers toyed with the velvety balls at the base while his tongue fluttered along the length in his mouth. He’d become very good at this as he worked his way through every bed in the hold, and he enjoyed it.

He wouldn’t admit to himself that it was better with Shaemus. Everything was. Just being near the other man aroused him, but that was because Shaemus had been his first male lover. Wasn’t it? Distressed by his thoughts, he sucked harder, allowing his teeth to scrape lightly over the other man, trying to distract himself. He wanted to taste Shaemus, have him come in his mouth. He wanted him.

Shaemus bit down hard on his lower lip to muffle the groans of pleasure he felt trying to break free. Damn, but the little lord was good at this. He’d obviously made a study of it while bed-hopping. Surprisingly, the idea of Keirron going from bed to bed angered Shaemus, and he threaded his fingers tighter in the lord holder’s hair, circling his hips harder, fucking the other man’s talented mouth.

Keirron moaned his approval as Shaemus thrust into his mouth, moving roughly. The last man who’d tried to do that to him had found himself thrown across the room and left while Keirron walked out, but he loved having Shaemus take him like this. The feeling of possession was incredible.

Shaemus was too deep into his throat now for him to be able to suck, but he could still tease with his tongue and swallow and use his fingers, and he did. He sought to draw the other man’s climax from him, hungry to taste him, for the moment ignoring his own erection.

The smith spread his legs wider for balance, feeling his balls tighten up against his body as the muscles of Keir’s throat contracted around him, massaging his length just as his body had their times together.

_No, no. Didn’t want this, didn’t want to want_ this _man._ Shaemus’ anguished moan was drawn out as Keirron rolled his balls between his fingers and swallowed hard. Throwing his head back and ramming his hips forward, he came, his hot seed shooting down the lord holder’s throat in a torrent that left him drained but still wanting more.

Gasping for breath, he drew back and looked down at the larger man. “You want me to fuck you, Little Lord, you’d better work on getting me hard again.”

Shamelessly, the lord holder continued to lick and suck the softening flesh in his mouth, trying to keep it from going completely quiescent. His fingers moved purposefully over Shaemus’ body, one hand exploring the sensitive area behind his sac and upward to the tight opening, rubbing teasingly. His other hand explored the rest of the smith, tracing the tight abdominal muscles in its journey to the hardened nipples which tempted it.

He used every trick he’d learned, finally admitting that he wanted to feel Shaemus inside him again. Others had taken him, but it had never been as good as that time with Shaemus, no matter how hard he’d tried or how desperately he’d wanted it.

Eyes half-lidded with pleasure, Shaemus rocked into Keirron’s skilled hands and mouth, his arousal beginning to wax again, never having fully waned. Tilting Keirron’s head back, he looked into the younger man’s eyes, deliberately rubbing his leg against the lord holder’s crotch as he did so, enjoying the moan this elicited.

“And get yourself ready. I touch you, I’m going to be in you. It’s that simple.”

Keir bit his lip hard. No one had ever asked that of him before, and he wasn’t sure he could. Then he raised his eyes to meet the blue ones staring down at him, and some part of him knew that he would do anything Shaemus asked of him.

He stood off to pull off his boots and clothes, then knelt down again, naked, at Shaemus’ feet. He stared at the other man’s body, unable to meet his eyes as he spit on his fingers, then carefully worked them into his body. He was too eager to wait, so it was not long before his hands lay in his lap and he stared up at Shaemus hopefully.

“Hands and knees,” the smith ordered gruffly. His cock, which had been well on the way to full erection from Keir’s attentions, had grown painfully hard at the sight of the other man stretching himself - all because Shaemus had told him to. That much power was a heady rush, and it sent a tremor of pure need running through him.

The moment Keirron shifted, Shaemus was on him, slapping a saliva-slick hand on his cock to wet it, then grabbing the lord holder’s ass, spreading his cheeks to expose the dusky circle of his anus. With an almost animalistic growl, Shaemus positioned himself, them slammed inside, his hands shifting to Keirron’s hips and holding the other man tightly back against him, not letting him move.

Keir howled. There was a little pain in that sound from Shaemus’ abrupt entry, but it was mostly pleasure. A lot of pleasure. He wailed and thrashed, fighting to move, needing to move. He was impaled on Shaemus, and he loved it, but it wasn’t enough.

“Fuck me,” he begged frantically, hands plucking at the smith’s on his hips. “Please!”

The need plain in Keir’s voice echoed the lust boiling in Shaemus’ veins, and he loosened his hold on the other man even as he pulled almost all the way out of him, then dove back in, losing himself in the battle of thrust and retreat, the grunts, gasps and moans that marked each skirmish.

“Oh jays yes!” Keir thrust back, meeting and matching Shaemus’ rhythm. It was so good, so much better than anyone else. He arched his back and lowered his head to the ground, allowing Shaemus to go deeper still. He knelt there, face in the dirt, legs spread wide, and another man ramming his cock into his ass, and he felt better than he ever had in his life.

He bit his lip until blood ran to hold back his howls of pleasure, and his hands clenched in the dirt. He kept them there, away from his cock, wanting to be fucked into coming. The pleasure Shaemus gave him was enough; he wouldn’t touch himself.

Keirron’s body was like a hot velvet glove around him, and Shaemus took each thrust to the limit; pulling almost totally out of the other man before pounding back in. There was no finesse or consideration in his movements; he didn’t care if his strokes hit Keir’s prostate or not, though he could tell each time one did by the tremors that ran through the larger man.

What he wanted was to let go, to lose himself in the heat and energy, to forget everything, including who he was fucking, for right now. The only problem was that he couldn’t. Keirron’s voice kept intruding on his consciousness, the gasped out begging and pleading mewls driving him higher still.

“You like it this way, you know it. You know you want to come from it, so let’s feel it.” The hard words would have shocked Shaemus if he was able to think about it, but he wasn’t, so he didn’t care.

Keir shuddered, the words hitting him like strokes directly to his prostate. He wailed, his body convulsing almost the instant his brain processed the words, as if he’d been waiting for Shaemus to tell him to come. His body tightened and shuddered in a paroxysm of pleasure, and his seed exploded from him to soak the ground below. All it needed now was Shaemus to come in him for perfection.

The spastic clamping of Keir’s ass around him drew a yell from Shaemus, and his fingers dug deeply into the other man’s hips before he came, marking the other lord holder as his own as he filled his body with his seed.

Raising his head, Shaemus stared at Keirron’s back, vaguely noticing the play of muscles beneath the sweat-soaked skin. How - why had he done this again? Jays, was he sick that he took pleasure in tormenting the lord holder this way?

Pulling back, ignoring Keirron’s groan as they separated, Shaemus angrily stuffed his now flaccid cock back into his pants and did them up. “Happy now?”

That drew a bitter laugh from the lord holder as he shifted back to his original position reclining against the rock, though naked now. “Happy? I can’t remember the last time I was happy. Go away, Shaemus.” Keirron sounded tired. “Go away and tell yourself that this was all my fault. I suppose that’s better than screaming rape.” He shook his head. “Think whatever you want, just go away.” For the first time with Shaemus, Keir sounded like his father had, like a lord holder.

Shaemus turned to do just that, when he paused, unable to simply leave like that. He hadn’t been forced, neither of them had, and he was going to have to deal with it. “The blame is both of ours,” he said heavily. “And for what it’s worth, I can’t remember either.”

He leaned his head against the boulder, closing his eyes, simply rambling now. “Nearly two Turns, sometimes it seems like forever, others, like a day. Doesn’t stop hurting but I guess you learn to live with it.” He tilted his head just enough to look at Keirron, “But I guess you know that.”

Keirron lay with his head against the boulder and his eyes closed. “Been longer than that for me. I lost him the day he saw you, and I didn’t even realize what I’d lost till it was too late.” He laughed raggedly. “Never even admitted it to myself until you made me. Does that make you feel better, Shaemus? You made me face it and accept the pain. I could have lived a lifetime without feeling this. How you must hate me.”

“No.” The quiet answer was to both of Keir’s statements, and Shaemus took a deep breath before he continued. “It doesn’t make me feel better if that’s any help. I wanted you to see - to feel...” he sighed, falling silent for a time.

“I may dislike you and your attitude, but I never hated you. For all the mess, you were Laurie’s best friend and, as such, he loved you. Hating you would be hating part of him.”

Again Keir laughed bitterly. “So fucking me is like having part of him back again for a little while. I should have known.” _Should have known better than to think you actually wanted_ me _, even for an instant._

“What?” Shaemus’ head snapped up, and he stared at the younger man, first in shock, then in irony. “Generally Laurie fucked me, so no, fucking you isn’t like having him, even for a little while.” His jaw clenched in anger, and he fought the urge to pound his fist into Keir’s face.

“Much as I don’t like admitting it, I wasn’t thinking of him at all, not that it matters.”

Keir was so startled by the first comment that he missed all the rest. “Laurie took _you_? But you’re so—”  He bit off the comment, blushing deeply and looked away. He certainly wasn’t going to tell the man who despised him how dominant he found him. He reached for his clothes, suddenly uncomfortable to be naked before this man.

“Jays, it’s not like there are any rules in this.” Shaking his head and wondering why he was doing this, Shaemus turned his back on Keir, giving him some privacy to get dressed. “Laurie could be... surprising...” That last was added with a sad smile.

“I’ll have to take your word for that. I gave up my chance to know for myself without even realizing I was doing it.” Looking back, Keir could see the many times Laurie had hinted at the possibility of more between them, but he’d never understood. “I’m so sorry, Laurie,” he murmured, again forgetting Shaemus’ presence.

Shaemus bowed his head, wrapping his arms tightly around his torso, fighting the memories and his grief. He’d never doubted Laurie’s love, but if Keir had realized what he wanted earlier, what might have happened?

Knowing he was simply torturing himself with this line of thinking, the smith rested the side of his face against the boulder, his breath coming in quick pants as he strove to control his emotions. “He loved you,” he rasped. “No matter what.”

“Not like he loved you,” Keir finally admitted. “He was never mine like he was yours. No one was mine like that or wanted me to be theirs. When I tried with Tallia, she ran. Guess I’m not very lovable.” He smiled painfully.

“Maybe you just try too hard.” Shaemus swiped at his face, then turned to face the other man again.

Keirron shrugged. “Maybe. Doesn’t really matter though. I have plenty of brothers and sisters who can be heir. It’s easier not to care.” He saluted Shaemus with the bottle of liquor that he’d rescued, still partially full.

“Easier doesn’t always equal smarter.” Leaning over, Shaemus plucked the bottle out of Keirron’s hand and took a drink himself.

“I thought you’d already decided that I wasn’t very smart,” Keir responded dryly, wondering why he was staying here, talking to a man who despised him. “I think I’ll go with easy.” He took the bottle back.

“Smart enough to run the hold I suppose.” Shaemus shrugged. “And easy doesn’t always end up that way in the long run.”

“Such praise.” Keirron shook his head. “You really don’t care in the slightest that I’m your lord holder, do you.” It wasn’t a question. “You must have hated it that Laurie was my friend... almost as much as I hated it that he loved _you_ ,” he admitted painfully.

Shaemus reached for the bottle again. “I didn’t hate that he was your best friend, I hated that every time you went to the edge, you took him with you. The fact that you hated me was pretty obvious from the first second we met. Maybe you’ll be a good lord holder, if you grow up and stop the theatrics soon. It all isn’t about you and what you want, Little Lord; put other people first once in a while, and maybe you’ll figure that out - and by that I don’t mean cling to them so hard you drive them off. Let them make their choices and support them, no matter how stupid they are.”

Confused, more than a little drunk, and angry, Keirron hadn’t heard anything beyond Shaemus telling him to grow up. Glaring furiously, he opened his mouth but couldn’t think of anything to say, so he simply stormed away, wincing slightly at the tenderness of his ass.

“Little brat,” Shaemus muttered to himself, leaning back against the rock and taking a drink, growing disturbed as the night progressed and he was unable to find peace out here as he normally did.


End file.
